Sunday, September 02, 2007

4 Days 20 Hours 49 Minutes and 43 Seconds

No, that's not how long it took Alistair Coetzee to explain to Eddie Jones all the complex backline moves he's help crafted over the last 4 years for the Springboks... That's how much time, according to the official Rugby World Cup website, are left before the festivities (pardon the pun..) kicks off in France.

So, this must be about the time the "I-have-played-testrugby-for-my-country-even-if-it-was-against-Cote d'Ivoire-in-1995!" ex-players start telling us who they think "might win it", or the (even better value for money) "Because-they-smashed-my-team-on-a-continuous-basis-my-bosses-fired-my-ass-but-I-still-have-an-opinion" ex-coaches are also quoted in the media saying "the AB's have peaked already" and are therefore "destined to fail in France". So, why should I be any different??

But, to just follow suit and say "I fink da Springboks can wins it" will be about as lame as Andrew Johns' claims that it was some stranger who placed that pill in his pocket.. So, let's try and make it a little bit more interesting.

In case you missed it, I kinda like sport.. And if there's one game I enjoy almost as much as rugby union (or league... or tennis... or cricket... or golf... or women's beach volleyball...) its soccer. So, I thought: why not compare the rugby nations to their soccer counterparts at the world cup?

First up are the All Blacks. They're like Brasil. They keep producing naturally gifted players. They play an attractive and expansive game. They're the red hot favourites at the start of every world cup. But, then again: both have mucked up in the past, when everybody expected all they had to do, was turn up to win the tournament...
Player to watch: Andy Ellis... Can somebody explain what the hell he's doing there?? "Andy's great form for the Junior All Blacks secured his spot in the squad". Sounds a bit like a new Tui ad... YEAH, RIGHT! Piri might have the same dietician as Ricky Januarie, but he was pretty unlucky to miss out.
Weakness(es): 1.) Their line out. No, not just Mealamu and Oliver's dodgy throwing, but also the fitness of the locks - Keith Robinson seems to pull a hamstring or calve muscle by just thinking about Victor Matfield and Bakkies Botha...
2.) Centre - Tana's been gone for almost two seasons, but still no permanent and settled replacement. Expect further tinkering during the WC. Just who'll start in a possible final? Toeava, Smith or Muliaina? Mmmm... Funny how they pick brilliant fullbacks at centre during their World Cup campaigns.. in '99 it was Cullen, '03 Macdonald.. and we all know how that ended..
Verdict: The AB's are the number one team for a reason - the rest of the rugby world are hoping for a hiccup in a one off game, but not sure if that'll happen this time round.


France are like Argentina. They've got the players, they've got the history; we all know they can play. If they get it right, they're lethal, but that's just the thing: they haven't really done anything special on the big stage for ages. People are still referring to that magic comeback against the AB's in '99, but come on: that was 8 years ago!!
Player to watch: Remy Martin... Eish, any guy who's named after a brandy MUST be a legend!
Weakness(es): 1.) The so called "French unpredictability". Brilliant today, pi$$ poor tomorrow!!
2.) The AB's put 40 + points past them in 5 of their last 6 contests. They may have a superior record against the other nations of late, but they're not the AB's bogey team, as we like to refer to them as..
Verdict: They're playing at home, and that is huge. If they can actually get through their pool unscathed, who knows...


England is like..... England!!! They've won the cup once, and will therefore never allow us to forget about that! (hold on... are we talking about the South Africans here??)
Their domestic rugby/soccer competitions are filled with overseas players, which must surely impact the development of the local youngsters.
Player to watch: Andy Farrell.. Just another hyped up, overrated league convert? Possibly (only just) quicker than Brian Ashton (England's coach) over a 100m dash.
Weakness: Their backline play. Not able to score a single try against France over the space of 160 minutes is a major concern, full stop!
Verdict: They might be the defending champions, but they're just not good enough now. Ashton and Dallaglio can claim the underdog status is a "real positive", bla, bla, bla... Just like I had to admit 4 years ago passion and pride weren't enough to pull the Boks through a quarter/semi and final over 3 consecutive weekends, I guess you can say the same about the English this time round.


The Wallabies are like Germany. Even though their domestic/provincial scene is not the biggest and greatest and you'd expect them to eventualy slip off the radar, they pretty much always reach the semi finals, and you can't ever write them off. Champs in '91 and '99, as well as beaten finalists in '03, when nobody gave them a chance to upset the AB's..
Player to watch: Lote Tuqiri - the most expensive player in Aussie, and he knows it! Has apparantly spent hours sharpening his drinking game skills for France.. Would be interesting to see if he can do what he's paid for and actually score a try for a change, and not feature in the papers for his late night escapades...
Verdict: They'll cruise through their pool, and are possibly scheduled to meet the AB's in the semis. That's unfortunately as good as it'll get this time round. Their away from home record is about as impressive as the Springboks', plus they haven't beaten the All Blacks away from home since 2000...


And then we have the Springboks... They're like Italy. They have both won a World Cup... They're frequently criticized for their playing style, for being too predictable and boring... The off-the-field antics are well known an publicized - if it's not the Luke Watson saga, it's Juventus' demotion to the lower leagues due to match fixing allegations... The similarities are quite frightening, but also embarrassing!! Mmmm... but then again: we all know who won the soccer/football World Cup in 2006, don't we?